Chapter 10: Out of character Giraffe

Previously in Deep Ocean:

I had already hung the jackets in my closet, when I stumbled upon a small backpack purse I didn't recognize inside one of the bags.

A black leather backpack which clearly belonged to a woman. The problem was that the woman wasn't me…

I placed the purse on the bed end bench, while a million of things went through my mind. Should I open it? I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to look inside…Could it belong to Edward’s girlfriend? What if I opened it to look for an identification card, and ended up finding more than I wanted to know?

It was a possibility.

If I analyzed the situation, that could even explain the surprise in the waiter’s eyes earlier. Maybe he wasn’t amazed because a woman dining there wasn’t a regular occurrence, as I first foolishly thought. Perhaps he was taken aback because I wasn’t the woman he was expecting to see there.

How stupid could I’ve been? After all, he never claimed he was single, and I have never asked. I’ve just assumed.

Jealous? Nice touch, buttercup! It’s not like you don’t have a boyfriend too.

Of course, there was that small detail too. I still had to talk to Mike, and even if he agreed to give me some time to figure things up, I wasn’t supposed to use it to jump Edward. I had no right to get jealous if he had a girlfriend…or twenty. I was the one with the unfinished business, and very out of his league in general, independently of whether I was in a relationship or not.

The thought of him being with another girl, however, bothered me more than I would confess.

I decided that I had to clean up my act with Mike first. It just had to be done, although the feeling that I’d never come back to him was growing considerably. Maybe I didn’t have the guts to try and steal Edward away from his woman, but being with Mike for the wrong reasons was something unacceptable. The few days I spent with Edward had changed my mind drastically. I was not that girl anymore, and even if there was still a lot of pink in me, I was more hopeful to find what I really wanted, and the little white house with the picket fence was climbing fast in my list of things-not-fun.

I set my alarm clock, and went to bed, determined to catch Mike as soon as he left his office to have the ‘talk’.

“You don’t understand, Mike. I’m not saying that you’re doing anything wrong, I just have a lot of things in my head now, and I think I’d be good for us to have some time alone to think…”

“Bella, is this because you were expecting me to propose sooner, and you feel I’m not taking you seriously?”

“No, Mike, I’d never think…”

“Because it’s not true, Bella. I know I’ve been very caught up with work lately, there’s been some changes at the office, I’m not really sure where I’m standing anymore. Part of the shares had been sold, and there’s a new stockholder around. I know this shouldn't had affected us, and I know it’s not a good excuse, but I was waiting till things calmed down to make a decision. I didn’t know you were going to feel disappointed and want out.”

He paused, and gulped some water. I was so anxious, and frustrated that didn’t open my mouth. 

“Couples need time with they have serious issues, Bella. We’re perfect. You’ll see when things settle down. We don’t need time. We can buy a house, and you won’t even need to work at the restaurant anymore. You can be at home, and wait for me to have dinner together…”

“But I need time!!”

I didn’t know what made me yell at him, I didn’t usually raise my voice in public places, but his description of the life he was expecting set off all my alarms.

 Mike was shocked. He was staring at me with a mix of confusion and hurt I couldn’t take.

“Mike, you’re a great guy, any girl would be happy to be with you…And I swear you didn’t do anything wrong, you’re perfect the way you are…”

Perfect for another girl, one that’s not sitting in front on you right now, to be specific.

“You mean we’re good now, right?”

He looked pleased, I wanted to growl. I didn’t seem to find the right words to tell him that I wanted to run the hell off in the other way. Run away from him and his future plans as if they were the Ebola virus.

I tried again.

“Mike, we’re fine, but…What I mean is that I love you, you’ll always been great to me…I don’t want to hurt you, but I really need time. We’ve been together for three years; you never get fun…Why don’t you go out? I don’t know, meet people, have fun…?”

By the time I reached Mela’s, I had replayed our conversation in my mind about a dozen times. No matter how I looked at it, I still wasn’t sure if Mike had understood what I meant. I didn’t want to be blunt with him because I knew I’d hurt him, and he didn’t deserve it, but speaking kindly apparently didn’t convey what I wanted.

You should have tried the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’

I almost laughed out loud at that thought. Yeah, I sucked at relationships, but even I wasn’t that crass.

I was glad I was early, because I had time to finish placing the orders before the girls arrived. For some reason, they always used the storage room to have their girly talks, and that day in particular I wasn’t sure if I could handle them. Besides, they were still waiting for some kind of explanation about Edward that I wasn’t very willing to give.

I went to the kitchen to see if Santiago had already arrived. I wanted to talk to him and see if he knew how to prepare that flan-thing Eva served us the previous day. I wasn’t very acquainted with Spanish cuisine because, according to Renata, the Mediterranean Sea ended at the Cote d'Azur, nothing west from there was on our menu. I thought it’d be a nice touch adding some new recipes, and considering our shipment from Greece was still delayed, we’d have to make changes anyway.

Santiago was delighted at the possibility to add some Spanish dishes. He confirmed me that it was his area of expertise because his family was originally from Spain, and he had spent a few summers working with a Spanish chef.

We agreed to have some samples for the following day, and I left the kitchen to make my first round of the evening.

About 8:30 Renata called me to her office; I haven’t even noticed her arrival. At first I didn’t think anything of it, because she usually called me when she was bored and wanted to know how the day was going without having to step a foot out of the room.

I started to worry when I saw her face, but I closed the door as requested, and sat, bracing myself for whatever thing had got her Victoria’s Secret undies in a twist.

“Bella, do you think I’m an idiot?”

Hell to the yes, barbie!!

“No, Renata, why would I think that? Could you please explain me what is bothering you? I’m sure it’s only a misunderstanding.”

“Don’t you dare use that patronizing tone with me! I know what you were planning! First you come here, to my restaurant, and act as if you owned the place; then you trick, God knows how, Edward Cullen go shopping with you, and buy you stuff? Do you really think that you can catch a man like him? I can’t even start to imagine what kind of lies you could have told him, cos believe me I’ve seen lots women hanging on his arm, and they were bombshells. Do you even own a mirror?”

I was so stunned that I couldn’t even open my mouth. I was listening to her words, and still it felt like my brain was having a hard time processing them. How did she know I had been with Edward? And most importantly, why did she think I was tricking him into anything?

She must have taken my silence as a confession, because she went on.

“I know what you’re planning! I’ve seen a lot of little shits like you before, so drop your scaredy-cat act! You told him you owned Mela’s, right? You thought you’d use my prestige to make him think you were his equal! You had it all set up from the beginning; you took advantage of my kindness to take over the restaurant, and then waited for a suitable victim to show up! You, little backstabber! If you think you’re going to catch him to marry you so you can make it back to society, you have another thing coming!”

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, bitch!

“Renata, you don’t have any idea of what you’re talking about. I didn’t tell Edward anything but the truth, I’m not trying to trick him into marriage, I’m not trying to have a place in society…”

I really tried to reason with her. I wasn’t even sure why, but I felt the need to explain myself to her, but she had to interrupt me again. I was livid.

“You think I’m not aware of your story? Your family disowned you ‘cos you didn’t have what was needed to marry the right guy, so you just came here with your tail between your legs, and thought you had a second shot at it…”

“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Renata!”

Say what? Since when are we on the same side? You go, Swan!

Apparently when my mental filters weren’t working, my inner voice was unleashed. Who knew? I’ve never been so angry in my life.

Renata was staring at me with her mouth open in shock; it seemed that she wasn’t expecting the uncensored version of my thoughts either.

“You’re f…”

“Don’t bother, Renata,” I interrupted “I quit.”

I went to my office to grab my purse, and told her on my way out “And since according to you, I was trying to take over your restaurant, I won’t give you the month warning. I’m sure you’d want to manage Mela’s yourself to avoid anybody else trying to backstab you. Consider it a parting gift and reimbursement for the way you treated me, I won’t even cash my last pay check, so we’re even.”

When I walked out of the door for the last time, I was still angry, but there was also another feeling. Could it be relief?

I felt like I was taking the reins of my life for the first time ever. And it felt good…