Chapter 7: Giraffes and Gypsy Spells

Edward’s face went from playful and relaxed to pale and expressionless in 1.2 seconds.

Bet your ability to ruin his day is faster than his car’s acceleration rate, genius!

He rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes and took a deep breath. When he looked at me again he seemed sad.

“I could answer that to you, but you probably won’t believe me anyway…so why don’t you ask Eva instead, love?”

“Ask me what, Edward?”

Eva was standing between us near the table, with a tray on her hands and an amused look in her face.  It was obvious she had some idea of what we were talking about so there was no use in lying.

“Bella wants to know how many women I had brought here, Eva”, he said, his tone was patient but somehow had an edge of tiredness.

Eva cracked up laughing, slightly throwing her head back in her amusement, but still managing to hold the tray perfectly balanced.

“Oh, let’s see”, she stepped closer to the table and started sorting out the food, putting several plates and a mug of coffee in front of each of us.  All the while making a show of counting and mumbling things to herself.  When she finished serving the food, she put the tray under her arm and stared at me.

“The answer is simple, cielo.  You’re the first woman I’ve ever seen with Edward. I’d have thought he was a monk…or gay”

Her laugh echoed like bells through the room.  Edward groaned and that seemed to amuse her even more.

“Aw, don’t look at me like that, cariño!” she said to him lifting his chin with her hand.  “I know that you’re not gay, not that I have anything against them either, but seriously boy! I’ve seen you turn down more girls that I cared to count along the years. Especially after playing the piano”

Edward appeared embarrassed as she walked away.

“Piano?”

“Sometimes I play when I'm stressed. Playing the piano seem to relax me in a way no other thing does”

He looked unsure, vulnerable. I didn’t know what to do to make him feel better, sadly he had the gift to always tell me what I needed to hear but I couldn’t find a way to return the favour.

“I’d like to listen you play sometime”

“I’m not sure you’d like it, love…I play old jazz standards, songs you wouldn’t even recognize”

“You like old music” I didn’t know I was telling that to him or to me, there was a hint of longing in my words. I wished I could have something to love the way he seemed to love his music, something non-work related to find solace in when my days weren’t the best.

We both started eating our breakfast in silence.

“The music…” he said after a while, “it reminds me of my grandfather. Pops loved jazz and he was a big Elvis fan”, he said chuckling.

“He had this huge collection of 45 rpm records and we used to play them for hours…He would tell me stories about the artists or the times he’d seen a particular Big Band. He used to tell me: ‘this is part of your education, runt, there’s not way a lass you like will ever tell you no if you woo her properly with some sweet music’”

“Guess I ruined your grandpa’s theories”

“Not so fast, lass… It's not over till the last card is played. He also taught me that some bonnie lasses were very hard to get, but those were the ones worth the effort”

I looked at him and couldn’t repress my smile, he was back to being playful and flirty. I was starting to think that I was enjoying his attention too much, but there was nothing I could do about it: the man seemed to attract me like a moth to the flame.

When his mood lightened up, I really began enjoying the food Eva had served me.

Jeez! Edward was right! Even a little cold, it was the best coffee I had in years! And the muffins and scones were to die for!

I might have been eating with more enthusiasm than courtesy allowed, cause Edward was staring at me with his signature smirk on his lips.

Eva came back to refill our cups and brought us two plates with something that looked like custard and small glasses of a clear orange liquid.

Edward must have recognized the treats cause his face was the one of a kid on Christmas morning.

“I thought you’d like something sweet before you left”, she said with a knowing smile.

I had the feeling he came to this Coffee Shop when he needed to be pampered and I doubted the owners had any problem with that arrangement. They both seemed to treat him as if he were family; there was a warmness in Eva’s ways that told me she really cared about him.

“This, my dear, is ‘flan’”, she said pointing at the custard-thing “and my mother would have kicked me if I'd served it to you without the appropriate glass of ‘Embrujo Andaluz’”

I stared at the food with distrust while Eva left snickering and Edward could barely keep his face straight.

“I take it as Pink Ladies are not big fans of trying new things, love?”

I nodded blushing. He was already shoving that flan-thing in his mouth with delight.

Then he did what I wasn’t expecting, he offered me a spoonful of his flan.

The spoon an inch of my mouth and his compelling gaze on me, I opened and let him feed me.

Oh, boy! It was delicious! So creamy and soft…it’s velvety texture melting in my mouth.

I moaned and he groaned, his deep green eyes fixed on my lips.

I’m not sure how we managed to finish our dessert. The sexual tension in the air was so thick I felt exposed having such an intimate moment in public.

The liquor was smooth; with a bittersweet taste of oranges and maybe some spice I couldn’t pin-point. Edward explained to me that the name meant ‘spell’ and it was supposed to captivate you, put you under the magic charms of the region of Spain where Eva was born.

I thought that Eva was a sneaky gypsy who was trying to put me under a spell, but not exactly the same one Edward had described. More like under the spell of a certain green-eyed creature in ripped jeans and leather jacket across the table.

We said our goodbyes and decided to take a stroll along the boardwalk.

The conversation quickly went back to our first topic, but we’d already had breakfast, so I guessed it was ok to ask again.

“Are you going to explain me now what I did wrong with my outfit?”

“You’re not gonna let it go, right?” he asked grimacing and I shook my head.

“Oh, well, if you’re gonna be stubborn…”

He looked at my shoes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Bella, sweets, how did you think that a pair of Nike Air Max would help you with the ratty image?”

I shrugged.

“But you said sneakers, Edward! These are sport shoes!”, I defended flapping my hands in the general direction of my feet “And they’re the only ones I own…I bought them once when Alice got us memberships in a nearby gym, but I stopped going after a few classes…”

Please, don’t ask why… please don’t ask why, I chanted in my head, but he appeared more confused by the fact I didn’t own ratty sneakers, so he spared me the gym debacle explanation.

“Not even a pair of chucks?”

I shook my head no and he sighed.

“Let’s discuss the blazer, then. Why not an oversized sweat shirt, a hoodie or leather jacket?”

I proceeded to describe Alice’s pillage-and-burn raids to him. He was horrified by the time I finished. I didn’t think he was going to like Ali too much.

“Why don’t you lock your door to avoid that best friend of yours with no respect for your privacy get anywhere near your things?” he said aghast.

I had the feeling that trying to explain my relationship with Alice to him would be a hard task, so I said with a resigned tone “My bedroom door has no lock, and it’s not like I have anything to hide from Ali…I don’t really own anything I’d want to keep for sentimental reasons…”

We stopped walking and I stared at the floor; he cupped my chin and made me look at him. There was tenderness in his eyes again.

“Bella…what am I going to do with you, love…?”

He held me to his body and I rested my head on his shoulder, he let go after a few minutes.

“Look at my boots and tell me what you see”

“Uhm…that they’ve seen better days…?”, I replied hesitantly and made him chuckle.

“Now look at my jacket”

I ran my hand over the soft leather. It felt nice, worn and inviting.

“Now tell me: do you think I manage a casino dressed like this?”

“I guess not…”

“No, I don’t. My clothes are worn ‘cause the casinos are work, but when I’m not working I like being me. Do you know even who the real Bella is, love? What does Bella like to wear when she’s not working?”

I stared at him blankly. He was right. I had no idea who the real Bella was, I always had tried to be the Bella others wanted, never putting much attention in what I really wanted or needed.

“Do you like leather jackets, love?”

“I think…” I remembered the way his jacket felt under my fingers and I couldn’t help a smile.

“Yes. I definitely like leather jackets”, I said convinced. For some reason that discovery made me feel giddy.

“Come on”, he said pulling my arm, “We have leather jackets to buy and Pink Ladies Foundational Statements to disgrace”

Additional stuff from Chapter 6

For the ones willing to see Edward's car:

~ McLaren MP4-12C ~

And for the ones who wanted to see how Eva's (the coffee shop Edward took Bella for breakfast)

~ the 1954 Seeburg R Juke Box ~

We'll be hearing from Eva's quite a bit in the future, so I thought you'd like to see it.

Note: The coffee shop exists (sans the jukebox), unfortunatelly it's very very far away from Atlantic City...

Chapter 6: Stomping on the Foundational Statement of the Pink Ladies

I dug in my closet like a gopher, looking for the jeans I had hidden from Alice’s pillage-and-burn raids.  The girl had the annoying habit of going through my closet several times a year and getting rid of any clothes she considered tacky or old.  I knew I had hung a pair of old jeans under a channel jacket inside a silk garment bag, she never opened those while looking for ‘victims’ to send to the Salvation Army, so I prayed it was still there.

Bingo!  I picked the jeans and put them on.  They were old and soft due to too many washes and there was a rip near one of the knees. I had kept them cos they were comfy and I was quite attached to them, I thought they could be nice to do some gardening in the spring, but never in my life I had imagined myself wearing them to have breakfast with one of Cosmo’s most eligible bachelors. Oh, the mysteries of Life!

I paired them up with a plain black turtleneck and an old grey tweed blazer.  I donned my sneakers and even had enough time to apply some mascara before the doorbell rang.

 

I rushed down the stairs while fighting a hair bobble into submission.  I had decided that styling my hair was the feat that required the most time, so a ponytail would have to do.

Nothing could have prepared me for the vision of Edward standing at my door…

Oh, boy!  The man looked yummy in a suit, of that I was already aware, but seeing him wearing ripped jeans, Doc Martens and a leather jacket upgraded his level of edibleness several degrees.

OMFG!  He looks like the Bad-Boy poster child!  I want to lick him!

STFU, bitch!  I’m still not fighting with my conscience without my caffeine IV, but so we’re clear: I saw him first!  …MINE!

 I wanted to lick him too…badly

“Morning, sunshine” He greeted, a lazy grin playing in his lips. Then he took my hand and led me to his car.

His car…

“Sugar Honey Iced Tea!  What the chuffin ell is that?”

He cracked up laughing.  “You certainly have the most interesting vocabulary I’ve heard, love”

“Yeah, you laugh it up.  Have you ever tried cussing in Grandma Higginbotham’s presence?”

“Not that I’m aware of, but now that you mentioned it, I’m looking forward to the chance to do it”

He grinned mischievously and I was starting to doubt if Grandma would be able to resist his charms.

“The car's a McLaren MP4-12C.  I thought that if we were going to stomp on the Foundational Statement of the Pink Girls, we might as well do it with style”

The beast was something slick and aerodynamic, painted of a shade that varied between yellow, orange, and red.

He moved towards the passenger door to open it for me and he had to tell me to step back. Of course Edward would never drive a conventional car with regular doors…His friggin’ doors opened to the side and upwards.

I stared at him in shock for a moment.

“Did you just open the door like in Back to the future’s DeLorean?”  I asked dumbfounded.

“Not exactly”, he grimaced “DeLorean’s have gull-wings; they open upward cos they’re hinged to the roof.  These are butterfly doors, hinged at the side instead of at top by the roof”

The expression in my face while he ranted about car doors must have amused him, cos he chuckled and motioned for me to get in the car shaking his head.  I sat in and immediately looked out at the street.  The way I was seeing the pavement didn’t seem right.  The car was low and with the door up there was too many space you don’t usually get with a regular door.

“I promise they won’t suddenly open and let you fall, love”, he said before shutting the darn thing, going to his side and getting into the driver's seat.

He stared at me as soon as he sat, examining my clothes.

“And that’s your idea of ratty, Bella?  The pink society really did a number on you, uh?”

“What you were expecting exactly?”

 I felt absolutely out of place dressed like this in his fancy car, how much worse could I have done to meet his approvement?  I had failed again.  I was pleased with my outfit of choice a couple of minutes before.  I was almost expecting him to have a heart attack and refuse to take me for breakfast!  Why did that man have to be so complicated?

“Oh, don’t put that face, love!  We were supposed to have fun and you’re killing me with those lost puppy eyes.  There’s nothing wrong with your clothes, but I thought you were going to loosen up a little.  When I look at you, I still see a pink lady…”

“But I’m not wearing pink!  I even removed my nail polish!”  I whined

“It’s ok, love” he soothed.  “I don’t think my concept of ratty and yours are the same thing”, he said chuckling.

“But at least tell me what I did wrong!”

By that time, I was already pouting, frustration making my eyes bright with angry tears.

“Not wrong, Bella, different.  The first thing you have to understand is that there’s not really right or wrong in the way you dress.  People likes different styles, it’s called diversity.  And you’re not better or worse according what you wear.  Perhaps it was my fault; I thought you didn’t want to be a pink lady, so I challenged you with this little game that seemed to have backfired on me.  It’s ok if you want to be what you call a ‘pink lady’, I wouldn’t like you any less if you do, love”

“But I don’t want to be like them!  I hate being a pink lady!  I just need you to explain me why, no matter what I do; I can seem to get rid of it!

I was being childish, I was aware of that, but my disappointment was speaking for me.

“Edward, if you were in front of my closet and you had to dress me “ratty”, what would you have picked?”

“Bella, if I was in your bedroom and you were undressed beside me, I doubt I’d have covered your body with anything…We’d have had to order take out, cos there was no way in hell we would be sitting here discussing ratty clothes.”

I gasped at his bluntness.  The way those green eyes were staring at me made me squirm in my sit.

“I’m sorry, love.  I wasn’t trying to harass you.  I promise I’ll try to behave, but you have to understand one thing: I think you’re extremely attractive, and I find it very difficult to control myself around you.”

I didn’t know how he did it, but he had a way to make me feel beautiful, desiderable. Maybe it was the intensity in his gaze, maybe the edge in his tone, but It was hard not to believe in his words.

Fortunately, he decided to lighten up the mood again.

“Well, let’s see what can do to un-pink you after breakfast, love.  I don’t think it’s very wise to discuss such sensitive matters before we both have our share of caffeine.  Do you have any favourite coffee shop?  You don’t strike me as a Starbucks kind of girl”

“Starbucks is fine, I guess, but I must warn you: I’m not big on fancy flavoured espressos, I just want plain brewed black coffee and some pastries.”

“What?  No Triple caramel soy espresso with raspberry sprinkles?” he teased.  “I always thought those were on top in the Pink Book!”

“Naw, I actually drew the line at the ‘Cinnamon Dolce Latte with caramel and chocolate mocha syrup’, Edward!”  I informed him in my best ‘bitch, plweeease!’ tone.

“In that case”, he said chuckling, “would you like to visit my fav coffee shop, my lady?  I’m warning you that they don’t have any concoctions with crazy names, and the place is not what you'd call elegant, but they have the best coffee in AC”

“Lead the way, fair knight.  Right now I’d kill for a cup of good ole java with no whipped crazy on top”

He started the car and pulled away, heading to the less populated area of the pier.

The engine of his car sounded full and powerful.  I pictured a caged wild beast inside, barely restrained.  I had never felt something like that, but then again, I guessed that wild animal of a car he was driving matched the owner perfectly.

“At least you had the decency to avoid the Caesars”, I told him relieved as soon as it was clear that we were going in the opposite direction of the big casinos.  “I knew not even you were so brave to go in there dressed like this”

“You think I give a rat’s ass of what they would think, Bella?”

He was smirking, that dangerous demeanour that told me he was trouble the first time I saw him, noticeable again.

“I won’t go to the Caesars for two reasons: first, I said I wanted a good cup of coffee and second, I’m supposed to be the competition, remember?”

I felt like an idiot.  Of course, he wouldn’t go there.  He owned two casinos!  Why would he have breakfast at one of his rival’s place?  I wasn’t even sure which hotels were his.

“Are we going to one of your hotels?”

“Nah!  They’re in the opposite direction; you could say I’m actually running away from my hotels.  If I go in there, they will descend like vultures on me and I’d have to work instead of having breakfast.  We’re going to a small coffee shop in the old pier; I always go there when I want to be in peace.”

~ * ~

The coffee shop looked old fashioned and cosy. The interior was gorgeous.  It was vintage and atemporal at the same time. High roofs with old fans hanging from the ceiling, ochre and black tiles covered the floor, small wooden tables and Viennese chairs scattered through the room. They even had a small upright piano against one of the lateral walls and an old jukebox in the furthest corner.

I loved it!

The most surprising thing was that Edward took my hand and strolled in as if he were at home, heading directly to the counter.  A man in his sixties was placing pastries under a glass dome and smiled warmly when he saw him.

“Edward!  Always good to see you, kid!  He greeted “And in such good company”, he added looking appraisingly at me. I couldn’t help but smiling back at him.

Edward reached across the counter and patted his shoulder grinning.

“Don’t try to steal my lady, you old chap!  You already have your hands full with Eva”

The man nodded with an amused look.

“Why are you still standing there, half-pint?  Go and do your thing; God knows we only endure you cos you have an impeccable taste in music.

Edward grinned from ear to ear and it was very difficult to blend his bad boy appearance with the childlike gesture in his face. He dragged me along the room to the jukebox, his juvenile enthusiasm never leaving him.

“I’d offer you to pick a song, but I doubt you know any of the ones inside this beauty”, he said looking at the jukebox with appreciation.  He fumbled a little with the controls, as if he wasn’t sure which song he wanted, and then something moved behind the glass front and the music started.

“See the pyramids along the Nile, watch the sun rise on a tropic isle…”  A lady sang.

“I know the song,” I said excited. "Tory Amos covers that one in Mona Lisa Smile!”

“This is actually a cover too, but it's my favourite one, ‘GI Jo’ Stafford, recorded in 1952”

I stood there, swaying to the music, feeling inside an old black & white movie, till Edward put his hand on my shoulder and asked me to dance with him.

We dance slowly in front of the jukebox, and for the first time in my life, I felt completely happy.  I didn’t care that we were dancing in the morning, in the middle of a coffee shop, I didn’t care that people could be staring at us, the only thing that mattered was the two of us. I felt safe.

When the song ended, he quickly picked another one and then he led me to a nearby table.

“Well, well, well…Look who decided to honour this fine establishment!” a mature woman with a strange accent said smilling, and Edward stood up and hugged her tenderly.

“Eva!  I thought you weren’t here today!  I haven’t seen you when we arrived”

“I doubt you'd have seen me even if I was dancing a sevillana on the piano” She shook her head in disbelief “You only seemed to have eyes for the beautiful young lady over there”

She came to my side of the table and extended her hand to me.  I was about to shake it but she used it to pull me up and give me a warm hug.

After the introductions, we finally ordered our coffee though it was more lunchtime than breakfast.  Eva asked us if she could choose the pastries to bring us and when we accepted her offer, she disappeared behind the counter.

I looked at Edward who was staring at me too.  I wondered how many people knew that side of him.  Was that an image he was trying to sell to me? 

“What are you thinking, love?”

“Edward…how many women have you brought here?”

Chapter 5: Giraffes and Security Blankies

Chapter 5: Giraffes and Security Blankies

“The shipment from Greece is delayed, so our reserves of Kalamata olives, kefalograviera and mavrodaphne wines are low, Santiago. We’ll have to take some dishes from the menu ‘till we get stocked again”

He didn’t look pleased, so I had to pull the big guns.

“I thought it’d be a good moment to replace them temporary for some of your signature dishes perhaps? If they’re a success, we can always keep them on the menu and that would be a great opportunity for you”

His face said it all; nobody in their right mind would refuse a chance like that.

“Do you think Renata would go along with it?”

“Renata doesn’t really care what we serve as long it looks classy, and has a few ingredients with names she can’t pronounce properly”

“I can have a few dishes ready for tomorrow so we can meet for a sample meeting and decide.”

I could almost see the mechanisms in his head starting to move.

Crisis averted.

The first thing you have to take care of in a high-end restaurant is having the Executive Chef happy. A pissy EC can make the lives of every single person working there hell. Believe me, I’ve been there.

“Oh, one more thing, Bella: Do we still have to put up with Barty’s crap?”

“No, I talked to him and made clear the Italian ocetra he was trying to sell us was low-quality, so if he wants to have a deal with us, he’d better send us the good stuff. He can always find a few of those new moneys who don’t know their head from their butt to  sell his cheap caviar.”

I went to the kitchen to grab a coffee before I sat at my desk and started discussing the vegetables and herbs on the phone with our providers.

Three seconds after my ass hit the chair, Renata came strolling into my office swaying her hips with her usual weird cadence. She must have thought it was sexy, but frankly I always found it forced. She reminded me of the singers in one of those ‘all-girls’ groups during the sixties.

But there was nothing girly or pink about Renata. She was artificial from head to toe. Fake tan, hair extensions, tons of silicon spread all over her body and long acrylic nails covered with channel’s ‘midnight red’ polish.

She seemed to try for femme fatale but she usually ended up looking like Lindsay Lohan in a trashy day.

She sat on the corner of my desk, clearly wanting something. She was never at the restaurant that early, so whatever she was up to, it couldn’t be good.

“Bella, sweetie, I was informed that you sat at one of our V.I.P. guests’ table last night. Is that true?”

I nodded. I didn’t trust her when she started with the sugar-coated nicknames and that dulcet tone.

“Well, you see, dear, I know you didn’t think you were doing anything wrong, believe me…” She put one of her manicured hands on her heart in an exaggerated gesture “…but we have an image to keep. Men like Ed don’t appreciate the staff interrupting their meal.”

I was speechless, livid and embarrassed, all in one. She must have misunderstood me, ‘cause she smiled condescendingly and went on with her patronizing tone.

“Don’t worry, darling, no need to apologize. I’m just telling you so you can learn from your mistakes. I talked to him and Edward’s a gentleman; not only he didn’t complain, but he also tried to cover you saying he had begged you to sit at his table”

She let out one of her affected practiced laughs covering her mouth with the tips of her fingers.

“I know, right? Like anybody would believe Ed has ever begged a girl for anything! And you, of all people? It was so hilarious that I had trouble keeping my face straight when he told me that”

I’ve had enough of her crap.

“Edward actually asked me to keep him company. He’s my dear friend and I couldn’t deny it to him, Renata. You have to understand, right honey? Everybody knows how much he hates eating alone”

I plastered the sweetest smile I could muster on my lips and looked innocently at her.

She didn’t disappoint. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, but didn’t utter a word as her face went through various shades of red, pink and purple. It was funny as hell! It was like looking at a human-sized kaleidoscope with D-cups.

“Whatever” She finally managed to say and stormed out of my office, the click-clack of her Manolo’s fading away in the corridor.

She scores! And the crowd goes wild! Ahhhhhh! Brunettes 2: Blondes 0

~ * ~

By the time I reached back home, I was restless. I haven’t heard a word from Edward in all day, no phone call, not even a text. I almost expected to find flowers at home delivered in my absence.

Nothing.

Granted Mike haven’t contacted me either, unless I counted the usual two or three sentences he always sent me by email in the mornings, but considering that it was mostly work-related, so it shouldn’t count.

But it wasn’t Mike’s silence what was bothering me, after all he had always been a man of few words, and he never called me if he didn’t have anything in particular to ask or say. We could spend a week without seeing each other or talking on the phone.

What was bothering me was the fact that I have grown attached to Edward and I missed him.

Deciding that I shouldn’t be expecting anything from him ‘cause he was nothing but a friend, I went to bed determined to examine my situation with Mike instead. In the end, he was my boyfriend, and in the last few days I’ve had some revelations about our relationship that were starting to worry me.

Edward was right. Settling for the lesser evil only in self-defence wasn’t healthy. Not that Mike was anywhere near evil, I mean, he was my safe choice, I could have done way worse, but still…It wasn’t what I wanted, I knew deep down that I’d never be truly happy, I'd just get used. And I would be dragging an innocent down with me.

After some time, I’d become bitter and take my frustration on him.

Besides, didn’t everybody deserve a chance to find that kind of love that melts you bones and give you wings? A love all consuming and world-shaking that makes you forget your own name? If I dragged him with me, I’d be stealing that chance from him too.

I might not find that love for me, but would I be able to live in peace knowing that Mike lived his life without his opportunity because of me?

I knew there was a possibility that none of us ever found it, but still, I couldn’t carry the burden of killing somebody else’s dreams along with mine. And much less if my only apparent excuse was cowardice and convenience.

If I didn’t have the guts to try to fly, even with the excuse of my mangled wings, could I chain up another person to me so none of us could take the sky? Only to avoid feeling lonely? ‘Cause routine was safe?

I didn’t think so. I felt like a horrible person, so guilty and selfish.

What if Mike’s ideal woman had already come and gone, and he didn’t met her ‘cause he was with me? What if his train had already left?

What if you’re Mike’s train?

That was impossible. I couldn’t be the woman of his dreams. First of all, ‘cause I couldn’t picture myself as anybody’s ideal, but most importantly ‘cause no matter what I thought of myself, there was no spark.

Damn spark! I could have lived my life without experiencing that electricity, that jolt of magic that pulls you to another person like a magnet, without even noticing it.

Thanks to Edward now I knew how it felt, and I had never felt like that with Mike, not even in the beginning. It has always been the same gentle care, hugs without emotion, gazes without intensity, sex on weekends out of routine.

I had been thankful when he first made love to me, ‘cause he had been kind.

Kind…

Kind is pink.

Kind is tame.

Kind is mild.

Mike was mild. In all the aspects of his life. He wanted safety, comfort, order. He never raised his voice and he never did anything crazy just because. He never made love anywhere aside from a bed, never on a weekday and preferably with the lights off.

I fell asleep still thinking about that. Could I let go of my security blanket? Could I ruin his life by being selfish and keeping him?

~ * ~

Tuesday crawled at snail pace. Not a sign from Edward, Alice has taken a few days off and she was visiting her family in N.C., nothing exciting happening at Mela’s and I still haven’t made up my mind about my boyfriend.

If I considered it, the day wasn’t any different from any other day in the past; the problem was a lot of things had happened the previous days. Things that put my world upside-down. I couldn’t even examine each situation for a certain amount of time that something else was happening next.

And then, nothing.

I guessed I was having an abstinence crisis. It seemed I had become an adrenaline junkie in two days.

Should we call you an Edward junkie?

Why in hell didn’t he come with a warning label? “Don’t directly apply to exposed skin, highly addictive. No known antidotes”. Even insecticide companies do that all the time and they have the antidote for fudge’s sake!

~ * ~

The house was empty without Ali. I brought food home from the restaurant as usual, I didn’t even think it’d be only me.

I imagined that camping on the couch for a while would make me feel less lonely, so I turned on the TV, set the volume low and had my usual midnight snack there.

Contrary to what most people think, when you are the manager of a restaurant you don’t actually get any chances to have a decent meal at the time the rest of the normal beings do. You can either take a chance and try to eat while praying Heaven no mayor problem will arise while you’re at it; or you can be more realistic and grab a bite before the rush hour and then starve until you get home, like me.

I was halfway down my dessert when I had the great idea.

I was good at business; I had filled all the unpleasant ‘holes’ in my life with work and I had survived. Perhaps if I analysed my problem with Mike using a detached business perspective I could arrive to the conclusions I so desperately needed.

I brought my lappy to the couch and started with the research.

Forty minutes later, I had the situation almost wrapped up.

I had to eliminate 99% of the common reasons why relationships usually go downhill, but after reading a few articles and taking five different tests, I decided that the lack of spark was indeed a good reason.

What?

It was listed, so it worked for me.

I felt sorry for the couples having problems worse than mine, I even felt lucky in contrast.

There were only two solutions to our problem: Counselling or separating for a determined period of time and use that period to revaluate and then decide.

I discarded counselling ‘cause both members were supposed to talk about what they thought they were missing and what they could do to meet each other’s expectations; and once the common ground was determined, compromise.

That wasn’t clearly going to work considering Mike was hunky-dory, I was the one with the problem. And we’d never reach to any agreement ‘cause Mike was just not what I wanted, he was what I needed to feel safe and I was supposed to put on my big girl panties and let go of the security blanky in spite of everything.

Now, they idea of taking some time, each one on their own, to revaluate had possibilities.  First, it wouldn’t be such a traumatic break up if we decided to end our relationship when the ‘trial period’ was over; and second, it would give me an idea of what to expect. What if I ended up missing Mike like crazy and wanted to be with him? What if I felt lost without him and couldn’t let him go?

Yeah, the ‘trial period’ sounded like a loophole to get back in if I found out that I didn’t have the guts to break up with him. And at least I’d have the experience for the future, something to think of each time I wanted to set the picket fence on fire.

Finally the statistics showed that the 95% of the couples who took that option never came back together. Oh well, that had to do with an attachment curve I didn’t understand clearly, but apparently I was in the ‘high avoidance and dismissing’ quadrant, whatever that meant.

Pfffhhhh!! At least I had something I could work with. Empiric information and stats were part of my safe world, I could move easily there. When nobody asked you to feel, just to examine a situation and take decisions, things were a lot simpler.

I went to bed that night determined to talk to Mike and ask him for some time to think.

~ * ~

I woke up to Jace Everett singing on my night table.

“When you came in the air went out and every shadow filled up with doubt…”

What? Bad things was the ringtone I’ve set for Edward. I’d have gone for Closer by NIN but it would have been difficult to explain if I wasn’t alone and my cell started screaming about wanting to fuck somebody like an animal. Bad things was safe, I could tell anybody that I liked it from True Blood and problem solved.

And I wanted to do bad things with him anyway…real bad things

About fucking time the Ice Queen started to melt

Shut up, bitch! I don’t argue with my conscience before my first cup of coffee.

“Morning, love. Did I wake you up?”

I sighed in relief. God! How could I have missed his voice so much?

“No…yes, but it’s ok, it’s the time I usually wake up, don’t worry Edward”

“Ok, I wanted to get a hold of you before you had breakfast, I think I got that one right at least. I apologize for waking you up...Would you like to have breakfast with me?”

“I’d love to, but…”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t think you could be busy in the morning. Maybe tomorrow?”

“No…It’s not that, I’m not busy. I don’t even work on Wednesdays, it’s just…You-wouldn’t-want-toseemeinthemorning” I said in a rush

“Say what?”

Yay! I finally confused Edward Cullen! Go me!

“Could you repeat that, love? But slower this time, please. I haven’t been awake for too long and still need my coffee to function”

I had to laugh at that. Apparently I wasn’t the only one whose brain worked on caffeine.

“Edward, do you have any idea how long a woman needs to be decent enough to brave the streets? A lot of time! That’s why we tend to have breakfast at home, in sleepwear and barefoot, and once properly caffeinated and fed, we start the tricky task of making ourselves presentable”

“Sleepwear and barefoot? That sounds tempting…Tell me, are we talking about skimpy sleeping clothes?”

“You wish! The Southern Belle Nazi is in Charlotte visiting her family…I’m taking advantage of her absence and wearing an old, huge thermal shirt and knitted socks.”

Did he groan?

“Your description still sounds tempting, Bella”

“Oh, nonono. Believe me, my rainbow socks are anything but sexy”

“I doubt it. Anyway, is the ‘no encounters for breakfast’ one of the Pink Ladies’ rules?

“Of course!” I tried to sound indignant but failed miserably.

“And Alice left you alone…How very un-pink of her! What if you picked a bag that crashed with your dress color? What if - God forbid us all- you went out wearing something banned by the Southern Belles’ society?”

The mock of horror in his voice made me giggle. He was chuckling too.

“I tell you what we’re going to do, Bella. You have 15 minutes to put on your rattiest jeans, sneakers and whatever thing you want to wear on top. I’ll pick you up and we’re gonna have breakfast…”

“But…”

“No buts, love. You said Pink Ladies didn’t have fun. Today we’re gonna break as many rules in that fucking pink book as possible. Now get ready, cos the clock is ticking. 15 minutes. I promise I’ll drag you into my car when your time is over no matter what you’re wearing…And as much as I’d enjoy having you half-dressed, I don’t think you’d appreciate it”

And the line went dead.

I tried to call him back but he had turned off his cell phone.

Son of a shrimp in tartar sauce!

The clock is ticking, babycakes…

Right. I had the feeling that being completely dressed by the time he arrived would be a good idea.

He wanted ratty clothes? I’d show him ratty. I jumped out of my bed and headed to the closet laughing.

Chapter 4: Pink girls don’t have fun

Chapter 4: Pink girls don’t have fun

I stayed the remaining of the evening in the back of the restaurant working in the office with the menus, the mail and the job applications: anything and everything that could keep my head busy and away from the dining room and a certain wicked-eyed creature.

Renata went to greet Edward but he didn’t offer her to sit at the table; at least that was what Jess said.

Take that, bitch! Brunettes 1: Blondes 0!

I only re-emerged from my office when it was time to close. I knew all the customers were gone, so it was safe for me to go to the main room. I checked the cash registers balance, counted and prepared the bank deposits and sent the report to Mike’s email. He’d be sleeping by that time, but he always wanted the info early in the mornings, so we had opted for that method.

~ * ~

I thought a lot during my short drive home.

As much as I enjoyed Edward’s attention, I recognized deep down that I wasn’t being fair. I had a boyfriend who trusted me and I just couldn’t go around flirting, hottest piece of ass in AC or not.

A boyfriend who trusts you cos he knows nobody would flirt with you. Plain boring pink doesn’t get any action.

And that was another thing I had to examine. My inner voice might be a bitter bitch, but I couldn’t deny that what I’ve said earlier about Mike had been bothering. I honestly haven’t thought about the reasons why we’re together, but you know what they say about Freudian slips…yeah, almost the same they say about Karma…

I changed in my pyjamas while I tried to decide if I should call Edward or not. I forgot to thank him for the bouquet and no matter how late it was, he worked in a Casino, he would probably be up. What I actually couldn’t decide was whether I wanted him to be awake or not, so I opted for sending a text.

A minute later my phone rang.

“Did you like it? I wasn’t sure what kind of flowers you’d prefer”

“I loved it! They’re gorgeous!” I tried to tone down my enthusiasm. “I forgot to thank you in person, but I know it’s late so I sent a text…Were you in bed?”

I don’t know how I managed, but the last question after the stuttering sounded wrong. It must have been the tone in my voice, it was a perfectly innocent question, but somehow I made it sound like something else.

Maybe ‘cause you were picturing him naked in bed before you called?

He didn’t reply right away, but I heard his steps and then a door closing.

“Not really, does it disappoint you, Bella?” His voice was a few octaves lower when he spoke again. The sound raspy and whisper like.

“No, I…shit! Sorry! I know it sounded wrong but I wasn’t trying to…Gawd! I suck at this!”

His chuckles peppering my rant, I made an idiot of myself once more.

“Don’t worry, love. I can’t really picture you insinuating yourself at me through the phone. At least not yet, should I raise my hopes?”

“Edward, I shouldn’t…I mean we shouldn’t be having this kind of conversation at all. I have a boyfriend and no matter if the relationship is based on the wrong reasons, I’m not the cheating kind…”

“I’m sorry, Bella. I shouldn’t have teased you like that. I’m aware you’re in a relationship and I’ve overstepped my boundaries. In my defence I’d say that talking to you is so simple that you make me forget about the rest. I’m not really used to be so at ease with a person I’ve just met, let alone a woman, but I value your honesty.” His voice was gentle, but he didn’t sound intimate anymore. “Do you think you can consider being my friend?”

And there came the bucket of cold water. He just wanted to be friends. That was something I could understand. The ugly girl nobody wanted to be seen on their arm was definitely friend material.

“Of course, Edward! We can always be friends. Though I’m sure you’ll find more interesting people to chat with, I’m here if you need me”

“Degrading the product again, love?”

I guessed he just found me amusing and liked the bantering. I could do that. I have always enjoyed some verbal fencing.

“I thought we’ve already established that the product is seriously challenged in most areas, Edward”

“Ok, Ms. Smart-ass, you want to play rough? Brace yourself!”

“Bring it, cupcake!”

I’m not sure what triggered that kind of reaction, but whenever we’re talking, he seemed to bring up the feistiness in me.

“Well, considering you mentioned what we had established, I think we should summarize the points we’ve already discussed. You recognized you settled for whoever felt best from your categories, and I proved to you that you were looking in the wrong market…And that doesn’t give you rights to bring the ‘product’ down and rejoice kicking it while it’s on the floor, so we are clear.”

He paused for a second and then his voice was lower and tender.

“What happened to you, love? Who hurt you?”

The same way he pushed all the right buttons to bring up my inner sassiness, he seemed to know how to ask me the most painful questions. I didn’t even hesitate or analyze anything; when I looked at the clock, I noticed that I had spent almost two hours spilling my guts on the phone to this stranger.

I told him things I haven’t told to anybody in my whole life, not even Alice.

I felt better, lighter.

“So Edward, if anybody ever asks you who has more fun, blondes or brunettes, you ask what color they’re wearing. If any of them is in pink, you have a winner; Pink Girls don’t have fun…”

A yawn interrupted my last sentence and he must have seen the time too.

“Guess it’s time to go to bed now, love. I could talk to you all day long, but you’d probably get bored of me faster and withdraw your friendship and we can’t have that, can we?”

I laughed, not daring to say he’d surely lose his interest in me first.

“Nite, nite, Edward. Should I say the ticks part too or you’re squeamish to sleep after talking about parasites?

He chucked and then got serious again.

“There’s only one more thing I need to tell you tonight. I wish I would have said it before, so you didn’t think it has to do with what you told me, but I won’t be able to sleep well till you hear it…”

He paused and then he voice was like velvet, soft and rich at the same time.

“It wasn’t a pity kiss, Bella.”

With that, he hung up.